Mama, They Need You—But Not Only You: Embracing the Village to Raise Kingdom-Minded Kids

I was recently asked what the "best worst thing" to happen to me was. I quickly realized that viewing things through this lens- that God truly does work all things together for good- has been the theme of my life. With parents who weren't parents at all, exposing me to horrific neglect, danger, and scarcity, and witnessing intense abuse in all forms, from addiction to violence to sexual abuse, it is 100% by the grace of God that I write this today. It is miraculous; there is simply no other word for it, that I had family selflessly step in and save my life. Without the village of heroic aunts, uncles, and grandparents, I shudder to think where I'd be today.

My village awakened my heart for worship, for God's house, for the least of these...

Maybe it seems obvious why I needed a village. I mean, how else was I going to become anything else besides what I had been exposed to? What about the parents whose children are tucked into safe and warm beds at night? The kids chauffeured to ballgames and playgrounds? Those who are confident that they are loved and valued? It makes me think a lot about my kids. I am far from perfect, but let me tell you, the pendulum swung a long way from my parent's lack of raising me right. Why? Because of the diverse and beautiful village that reframed everything for me.

So why do my kids, or yours for that matter, need a village?

Let's start here: God loves diversity. I could write pages about how diversity, culture, and different traditions give me life, but why is it so important for our kids to be exposed to various (safe and Godly) influences? Because everyone has their own story, a distinct set of gifts, and a different way of seeing and relating to your child. Your child will hear from and uniquely respond to them. They will carry the weight of their words and examples with a different stride than they do with your influence. While what happens within your family culture is 100% the most vital, it is the village that will encourage and awaken them in ways that God has intended - distinct from you - and that is not only okay but also something to embrace and celebrate.

Recently, our children's pastor shared a photo of a sermon outline our oldest son created when he was about 8 years old. While I was blessed to see many of the exact phrases we have instilled in him throughout his life, it was her influence that helped to bring out the gold in him. She encouraged him to write his first sermon and reassured him of his power to influence the world. Because of how he views her and his great love and respect for her, he dove in without hesitation.

It's the village that will nurture the seeds you've planted. They will polish the rough edges you've been smoothing and rough up the pampered areas that need extra grit.

My advice to you? Don't isolate your child from the village. Clearly discern who to include, and pray for God to bring the right people in. This could be crucial for your child to realize their full destiny, talents, and passions. Embrace the village, mama!